Counting the days… November 17, 2009

How are you? It’s been a while. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this space. I’ve missed the people here. I just hope everything’s fine with everyone.

 How many of you watched 500 days of summer?

 If yes, start counting. You don’t have to be in a relationship to do that. I know the movie is a love story? But I am not convinced, ha-ha! Honestly? I was actually disappointed with the plot, well maybe because I’m a sucker for “they lived happily ever after” finale and I didn’t get my anticipated ending with the lead characters. But I still love the movie, it’s rare, it’s real. It made me realized that even everything’s falling into place, even all the signs is pointing to something good to happen, you still can’t tell. In real life, there’s no guarantee, so you have to be ready with the odds.

 In the movie, the guy dissects every detail he can dissect with his last days after getting dumped. So if you’re going to analyze it, the movie is about how he struggled to accept the fact that he was being dumped and moved on with his life. The lesson of the story is bouncing back after a terrible, painful, memorable experience that happened.

 That’s why I also want you to count the days. We don’t have to be in the same scenario like Tom. We don’t need to count 500 days to acknowledge our weaknesses, to move on, or to be better. As for me, I may be counting less or more, it depends. But I am wistful. And I’m good.

 Hey it’s 38 days before Christmas and I am going home to spend my holidays there with my love ones.

 And yes, it’s 3 days to go and it’s New Moon, happy watching everyone!

The Wounded Heart October 31, 2009

How often do you get your heart broken? J

 As I was typing this entry, I am listening to my heartbroken soundtrack. Am really a masochist, haha.

 ———————————————————————————————-

Scenario 1

 

Him: Come on, just admit it to my face.

Me: Admit what?

Him: That you’re in love with me =)

Me: Feeling!

 

Scenario 2

 

Him: I really, really care for you…

Me: =D

Him: I don’t want to hurt you, I want you to be always happy.

Me: =D

 

———————————————————————————————-

 I was referring to two different persons who had a special place in my heart. Funny, I’m not into any relationship now but I had my heart broken, twice this year. I don’t even know how to feel anymore, I’m starting to get numb…

 From now on, I’ll keep close Paulo Coelho’s Convention on the wounded by love:

 The Wounded by Love Agreement

The convention on the wounded by love

General Provision:

Considering that it’s absolutely correct the saying that states that “all is fair in love and war”;

Considering that in war we have the Geneva Convention, adopted in August 22nd of 1864, that determines the fate of the wounded in battlefields whereas there is no convention that was promulgated until this day that deals with the wounded of love, who are much more populous;

It is here declared that:

Art. 1 – all lovers, male or female, are now being notified that love, besides being a blessing, is also something very dangerous, unpredictable and able to cause serious damages. Consequently the one who decides to love has to know that his or her body and soul are exposed to many types of wounds and will not be able to blame the partner in any moment, since the risk is equal to both.

Art. 2- Once a lost arrow from the bow of Cupid hits a person, that person has to immediately ask the archer to dart another arrow in the opposite direction, so that one will not fall prey to the wound famously known as “non-reciprocal love”. In case Cupid refuses such act, the Convention here promulgated demands that the wounded immediately retrieve the arrow from his heart and throw it in the bin.

In order to achieve this effect, the wounded has to avoid phone calls, internet messages, flower deliveries, or any other act of seduction, since these acts only achieve short term results and are inevitably erased by time. The convention declares that the wounded has to quickly seek the company of other people in order to control the obsessive thought “it’s still worth fighting for this person”.

Art. 3 – In case the wound comes from third parties, meaning, the loved one is interested by someone else who was not expected in the pre-established plans, it is hereby expressly forbidden any act of revenge. In this case, it is permitted the profuse use of tears, some punches on the wall or pillow, talks with friends where the wounded can freely insult the ex-partner, allege his or her complete lack of good taste, but refraining to lessen the partner’s honor.

The convention determines that art. 2 can also be applied: the wounded may seek the company of other people, preferably in places where the partner does not dwell.

Art. 4 – In case of light wounds, hereby classified as small betrayals, fulminating passions that do not last long, transitory sexual disinterest, one has to quickly and abundantly apply a medicine called Forgiveness. Once this medicine is applied, one must never look back and the subject must be completely forgotten, never being mentioned as an argument in occasional fights or moments of hate.

Art. 5 – In the case of definitive wounds, also called “break-ups”, the only medicine capable of truly healing one’s heart is Time. It’s pointless and ineffective to find consolation with fortune-tellers (who will always claim that the lost love will return), romantic books (in which the endings are always happy ones), TV soap operas or other similar things. One has to suffer with intensity, completely avoiding the use of drugs, painkillers, prayers. Alcohol is only allowed in moderation, never surpassing more than two glasses of wine a day.

Final Provision: the wounded of love, contrary to the wounded of armed conflicts, are neither victims nor torturers. They have chosen something that is part of life and therefore they have to face the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And for those that were never wounded by love, they will never be able to say: “I lived”. Because they haven’t.

Am I next in line? September 17, 2009

These days, I’ve been so occupied (and grumpy?)My blog missed me. I didn’t even post about what happened to my solo Baguio trip (hopefully I can still write about it!), no birthday post too, considering the date is special because it’s triple 9!

But last Saturday, I attended a friend’s wedding @ Mt. Carmel Church in QC. The beautiful bride is my office mate, and she vowed to give me a cold shoulder if I won’t attend her nuptials. The weather is kind of gloomy, the kind which you just want to stay in your bed and slumber all day. But September 12, 2009 is an important date for Joan and Jet, so come rain, come shine, family and friends should be there.

The ceremony was supposed to start by 10am, but due to the weather conditions, it started 1030am. It was a beautiful wedding, the newly-weds looked stunning, especially the bride as she walked down the aisle escorted by her parents, her dad was teary-eyed while her mom was all smile. :D  I took pictures of the entourage and I was able to capture the “you may kiss the bride” moment. The priest even jokingly asked the couple their fave numbers, groom said 7, 10 for the bride. So the priest said you can kiss your bride for 17 minutes tehee.

"You may kiss the Bride"

When the ceremony was done, picture-taking followed as expected before heading to the reception. And then another picture-taking in the reception area before lining-up to eat hehe. The food was great! Good choice. What’s interesting was they also rented a Starbucks booth where you can have a choice of frappe or hot coffee. I’m done with my meal and was about to enjoy my frappe while listening to the rest of the program when the emcee announced the bouquet and garter tossing part. I am single yes, but I don’t want to come in front, I already experienced that humiliating feeling catching the bouquet and all.

But the emcee had a list of the names of the single ladies, and as anticipated the bride listed my name. Of course, I don’t want to be called a KJ, with all the teasing of my office mate, I joined the single ladies. I was just trying to keep my cool when the emcee declared that we’re not doing it the traditional way. She asked the girls to choose their partners. She requested that it should be someone not related. Not a relative, boyfriend or friend if possible. Since I was really not up to the tricky game the emcee plotted, I waited for the other girls to have their choices and settled to the last guys who weren’t partnered. I picked the middle guy who was near to me, not bothering to look to the other two guys, you know just for the heck of having a partner. Then the emcee handed each one of us a glass of gin, requesting us to offer a toast and drink it, it’s like a preparation for her wicked plan hehe, for us to have the guts to do what needs to be done. Then she handed each girl a needle and thread for each guy. The game? The guy will insert the thread to the needle the girl is holding without touching hands. I don’t know we’re like 10 pairs at the start, and I was frantic when I noticed we’re down to 4 pairs, I was almost begging, telling him to be quick. I would have injected the needle to his arm if I realized we would be the last pair! Of course we’re declared as winners. What was awkward was the guy has a girlfriend hehe, and she was watching intently when the guy is putting the garter to my legs, sigh. With all the people, shouting, “Higher”. I wanted to elope!

No, the story didn’t end there yet. The emcee asked me to stay, the groom will give his bride 3 kisses and my partner will do the same to me. You can imagine my reaction, if I can only walk out and leave hehe, anyway I needed to be a good sport, and just go with the flow. Now, where did he kiss me? Secret teehee, just look at the pictures if I’ll post it.

 

 

Anyway, for the record, that experience was fun. No, the guy’s not my type, especially he’s taken.

Baaaaaaaaaguio trip with Bagyo Labuyo September 4, 2009

My life is a waiting game, waiting for time to heal all my wounds (naks!), waiting for my dreams to materialize, like waiting for that someone special to find me in his heart hehe. You see, I’m living a life of routine, and am extraordinarily living it that I’m becoming anti-social.

I missed my travel buddies, I know I just have to hit them a message and we’ll have a quick plan where would be our next escape. But again there are many things to consider.

So, I decided to pursue a solo trip to Baguio. It would be an unparalleled experience for me since this is my first time going solo in a trip. I’m not a first-timer here but I picked this place because this will suit my mood these days. Cold, alone but invigorated and happy. I was discouraged by my peers and bro like it would not be safe for me to travel alone, or it would be corny because I’ll be lonely. Not to be able to share some spectacular scenery with someone, not to be able to have someone to talk with when you get bored or when you’re having a good meal, not to have someone to take picture with, wacky or projected photos. Come to think of it, listing the disadvantages of going in a solo trip is making me rethink my plans hehe, prang sad nga ha-ha!

BUT anyhow, this is what I want, and I’ll do this. Alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. I can still enjoy a breath-taking view just by myself, I can still savor a good meal, and if I wanted to talk, I can always talk to strangers, making me win new friends and who knows, what happens next?  And I can always ask them to take some pictures of me after doing the same favor to them. Or I can bring a tripod and look silly, running to pose for a photo after setting the timer. I’m sure I’d steal weird looks from people but who cares? That would be something new hehe.

So here’s my itinerary for my Baguio Trip:

Day 1.

6am-8am = breakfast 8am-9am = Pink Sister’s convent

9am-10am = Bell Church (meet up a friend there)

10am-11am = Tam-awan Village (have a solo portrait/try their coffee)

 

Wait, I’m in a hurry. I need to go home now. You see I still have to pack up my things hehe. And “Labuyo” storm is just around, so I cannot depend on my itinerary if it’s really raining there. I hope “Labuyo” will go away now.

Fromancing… August 14, 2009

Is it good or bad? I am so eager to write about it when I read an article about FROMANCE definition. Webster is still deciding whether to include it in his dictionary but if someone is stuck with this situation, I guess it’s pretty easy to come up with an explanation.

FROMANCE. A friendship/romance with a member of the opposite sex, characterized by comfort, consistency, and plenty of sexual tension that offers no hope of resolution. (Source: Molly Mann)

FROMANCE: n., pron. froh-mans: A friendship/romance with a member of the opposite sex, most readily defined by a) its comfort, consistency, and ease, b) its ability to inspire “but what if…” thoughts, and c) its lack of sex.” (Glamour, March 2009)

There. Both descriptions give perfect clarity but I like Glamour’s more.

So I’ll come up with my improvised definition:

FROMANCE: n., pron. froh-mans: A friendship/romance with a member of the opposite sex, easily characterized by a) its constancy, comfort, and good laugh, b) its ability to encourage “but what if…”thoughts/moments (this is given when you’re a normal person), and c) its lack of intimacy but a deeper kind of connection.”

So let me answer my question if it is good or bad. Actually, it’s not bad especially when you’re doing it in a healthy way. Like you don’t let your world revolve around him/her but you get sincerely happy when they’re around.  Like you do not get sick if you do not see him or hear his voice. Because if you let him/her the center of your universe, that your day won’t be complete without seeing him, that’s TOXIC.

I raised this question to a friend if I’m becoming toxic to him, and I don’t know if he fully grasps the meaning behind the matter because he said yes, sometimes. Oh well, I was not surprised by his answer but I was still taken aback because I don’t think I’m that needy to be toxic. You see, I’m not parasitical for his attention. Well, sometimes my sensitivity gets the better of me and we’ll have misunderstanding but friends come in all varieties, right? And I come that way but I refused to be called toxic.

By the way, there’s no fromance going with me and this friend. At least not 100% because of course he’s one of my most constant ally. I just want to come clean because in case he can read this, I do not want him to think that things are getting across. It will be hard then.

B-day plans… August 4, 2009

I need to write.

I am not frustrated, or so happy. I just want to write, period.

Wow, today is already August 4! My birthday is soo near and I am trying to make up my mind what I am going to do on that day.

If I can only have the liberty to be missing for a week in lieu of my birthday, I would gladly jump to that break. You ask then what will I do if I will have a lucky chance to hibernate for a week. Perhaps I should go to Paris then stalked a cute stranger there. Some cute stranger who would ask me to marry him just to date me. Ha-ha, I still have a hangover with “the proposal” movie when Andrew asked Margaret to marry him just to date her. Sweet and cute.

Okay. Going to Paris is undeniably tempting BUT even if I get lucky to have the freedom to go, I don’t have the funds to give in to that dream so might as well plan something within my means, right? Yep.

Many moons ago, for the love of music, I bought myself a keyboard. I never dreamt of becoming a pianist but there’s always this nagging feeling in me to learn any music instrument. I first tried on guitar; my dear bro who has his own band taught me, in exchange of giving his girl chocolates out of my allowance. Don’t you think he tricked me on that? Especially that I didn’t learn, much to my dismay! In fairness to my bro, he did (patiently?) teach me but I just gave up (after realizing my allowance won’t be enough for his girl’s chocolate addiction, might as well eat those chocolates!). And then I saw the opportunity to try drums, but that would mean buying a drum set and putting it where is the next dilemma. So I dismissed the thought and bought a keyboard instead. Now where this story is going? I just want to remind myself to at least master one song as a gift for myself. You know so that my keyboard can proudly tell me “Hey, congrats! At least buying me didn’t go to waste.” And I would smugly say. “Yep, I am proud of myself.”

Now, that’s just one thing on my list that needed to be accomplished on my b-day. Another is to travel, yes. I originally planned to go to SG this year, not necessarily on my birthday so I was thinking to at least go out-of-town. Even if I don’t have a companion, even if it’s just in Tagaytay or Baguio and even if it’s just overnight, I would go. I need to. I don’t know if it has something to do with my turning 30 this September. It will sound very cliché-ish but if I won’t do it, there would be no ultimate reminder of the 30 years of my existence.

the WRITE move July 24, 2009

Do you have trouble in sleeping? I do. I am an insomniac; I got an onset insomnia that is the difficulty of falling asleep at the start of the night.

No matter how tired I am during the day, my brain would still be hyper to wander. I sometimes wonder how in the world my brain does that when it never function well when I’m playing online scrabble hehe.

Weeks ago, I was glued playing online scrabble. It becomes my ritual before going to bed. But I tell you, instead of curing my insomnia; it’s getting worse therefore I am thwarted with the fact that this is a bad practice. Besides, I get disappointed when Jacob wins the game ha-ha. Losing is always part of the game, I know. But it’s just frustrating. Well, that’s the rule of the game. Either you lose or you win.

So what’s the best move? In life, we always say it’s unjust. We wish for something we cannot have. We longed for someone we cannot love. Then it’s just like that.

Wait, one thing disrupted my rhythm, my alarm ringed. And I realized it’s almost 4am. I need to rest my tired eyes, my tired fingers. Later will be another day.

Perhaps I can inspire myself to write something decent before the day ends. For now, just ignore me. I’m sparing you momentarily ‘coz I’m going to sleep.

Giddy =) July 20, 2009

Today is no special day but I feel so giddy about everything. Hehe.

Well, for one reason, my angelic best friend told me that she’s coming over this week and we’re going to paint UP Hub red, certainly.

And I talked to my mom. There’s always that uplifting feeling that comes when you hear that they’re doing great. You think you can pull everything up with flying colors.

My best friend’s good friend Jo carried out a contest on how to make some two happy. Well, alas I wasn’t able to submit an entry but am so glad Angel did pass hers. I’m rooting for her to win. No, I’m not being biased. The years of friendship I have with her (since Elementary grade) blessed me with love and happiness. Those years were not spent with perfection. Sometimes we’ll lose communication, we’ll have misunderstandings. Yet it will still feel right. It’s a homey feeling like it is how it was always supposed to be. Thanks to her mom too, Mommy Iday =)

Really, happiness comes from simplicity of things. Just to be able to celebrate it with the best people in your life. So when you feel you have a crappy life, just think of the smiles of your fave people. That’s happiness =)

Writing between the lines. July 10, 2009

I missed blogging/writing; I was sort of heading a busy life. Sometimes it was so much to deal with but I get by just like any other difficult days.

I believe it’s always a matter of a good perspective. If you’re really psyched that you will make it, you will REALLY make it, despite the odds of losing in the end. Ye, the world will connive just to make it come true.

What’s with me? An angel-dearest friend wrote on her blog to compare notes about happiness. Here is my list (at least for tonight):

1. A feel-good book. I’ll buy one before going home. (Any suggestions?)

2. Rain showers! It will make me have a good sleep.

3. Sans rival and coffee.

4. A text from my personal sun ha-ha!

5. Some solemn moment.

There. I’ve chosen to live between the lines. And I’m writing too.

Eclipse July 1, 2009

 

 

“Jacob: Edward is like a drug for you Bella. I see that you can’t live without him now. It’s too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug. I would have been the air, the sun.
Bella: I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun, my personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me.
Jacob: The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.”

 

 

I can’t believe I’m writing about it! In the first place, I’m not overly satisfied with the Twilight movie the first time I watched it.

I never had the chance to read the book yet, at that time. And now here I am, done with its 3rd book. I swear I wouldn’t mind if I get a disgusted comment from some of my friends, guys especially. You know their kind; it’s difficult for them to swallow that side of ours, ladies. When in fact, they’re more emo compared to us, of course they wouldn’t admit. Okay, pretend my big mouth is not talking.

So what’s with all my blabbering about this book?

Stephenie Meyer did so much justice with her characters here. I was able to fully grasp the complications behind each facade. I loove Edward’s family. Carlisle’ principle, Esme’s motherly affection, Emmett, the teasing but everyone’s big bro, Rosalie’s hostility, Jasper’s stiffness, and especially Alice, I adore her beaming personality.

Let’s not forget Bella’s Romeos:

Edward’s character is very noble, really. You don’t think you’ll deserve such kind of authentic love from a vampire. Despite his coldness, literally, the love he gives to Bella is way more than enough warmth for her.

If that’s the case then, why Jacob on earth get to the picture? Because he’s Jacob. He is her constant ally. He’s her best friend and her other love too. As Bella described him, her personal sun. It’s always warm with him, because he’s a wolf.

When you think about it, both of them are monsters. And yet Bella, with her humane feelings loved them, with all her might. Even if it means dying for them. Even if it means abandoning her human existence. And becoming a monster herself.
I really don’t want to go into specifics. I know some of my girlfriends who are also hooked in reading them too. I don’t want them to turn monstrous over me if I give too many spoilers ha-ha!

But hey, there’s a part where I thought Bella is selfish. Hmm, I don’t like the way she responded to Jacob’s kisses when she has Edward. Well, she’s human alright and I cannot blame her, especially with Jacob’s effect on her.

There.:)

In my world, I sort of found Jacob. Can’t wait for Edward

Harhar, epekto ng Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse sa akin. This weekend, I’ll start reading the 4th book, Breaking Dawn. If I can wait that long. Ciao!